LotR Parodies
by Faara
Summary: LotR Parodies. I DONT OWN ANYTHING, just so you know. Games, Feelings, Secrets and Stupidity.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I DON`T OWN AYTHING!!! Not even the plot. I found a series of movie pictures on the internet and decided to put it in words. I think it´s funny though!!! XD

**Story .1 Boromirs Plan, Rivendell **

Boromir: One does not simply walk into Mortor.

Aragorn: Mordor.

Boromir: What?

Aragorn: It´s "Mordor." with a "D".

Boromir: …. …. One does not simply walk into Mordor.

Frodo: Um… Yes you do.

Boromir: Shut up. No you don´t.

Frodo: Yes you do. You totally do.

Boromir: Nuh-uh! You need, like… an army… With, like… Ninjas…. Ninjas, and, um… wizards! NINJA WIZARDS!

Gandalf: I´m a wizard.

Boromir: Yeah, but you´re not a ninja!

Gandalf: …

Boromir: Maybe some bears, too… Bears that shoot laser beams out of their eyes… Oh man, that would be so frickin´ AWSOME!

Frodo: …

Gandalf: …

Aragorn: …

Boromir: … … …

_Fin_


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I DON`T OWN AYTHING!!! Not even the plot. I found a series of movie pictures on the internet and decided to put it in words. I think it´s fun though!!! XD

**Story .2 Saturday night at Elrond's place**

Frodo: Okay Sam. It´s your turn. Truth or Dare?

Sam: I don´t know how I let you talk me into this…

Eomer: Just GO already! You´re taking forever.

Sam: Well… truth. I guess…

Frodo: Who would you rather get it on with…? Gandalf or Saruman?

Sam: I KNEW you were gonna ask me something stupid…

Gandalf: I promise I won´t make fun of you if you pick me.

Sam: Fine then. I chose you. Gandalf.

Saruman: No one ever chooses me…

Elrond: It´s your turn now, Samwise. Speed it up.

Sam: Alright…Wormtongue. I pick you.

Wormtongue: I´m not playing! I hate this game!

Legolas: You´re such a pussy, Wormy…

King Theoden: It´s okay. I´m not playing either.

Sam: JESUS CHRIST!!! _OKAY. _Eomer. Truth or dare?

Eomer: Dare.

Aragorn: He ALWAYS chooses dare.

Sam: I dare you to kiss your sister.

King Theoden: He already has! He does it all the time!

Eomer: UNCLE! _WHAT THE HELL??!!! _

King Theoden: Well, it´s true…

Gimli: Fuck this nonsense! It´s MY turn!

Aragorn: THIS oughtta be good…

Gimli: Legolas. Truth …or Dare?

Legolas: Truth. I have nothing to hide.

Gandalf: That's not what _I_ heard…

Gimli: Who do you have a crush on?

Legolas: That´s none of your business, dwarf!

Elrond: Just spit it out, for crying out loud…

Legolas: Fine. But NO LAUGHING…

Aragorn: We promise we won´t laugh.

Legolas: *sigh* It´s Elrond. I have a crush on Elrond. ((AN: O.O Even I couldn´t see that))

Elrond: ??!!!!

Frodo: Snicker! Snort! Larf!

Legolas: Shut up! You promised!

Gandalf: Snicker! HA! HA! HA!

Legolas: I SAID, KNOCK IT OFF!!!

Aragorn: _Okay_, guys. Settle down; leave him alone…

Legolas: Okay, it´s MY turn. Who hasn´t been picked yet?

Saruman: Gollum hasn´t had a turn…

Gollum: *holds hands over his ears*

Gandalf: See? THIS is why nobody likes you.

Legolas: Well, Gollum? Truth or Dare?

Gollum: Hmmm… we chooses DARE!

Sam: `Seven minutes in heaven´ with Frodo!

Frodo: ??!!!! Shut the fuck up, Sam! It´s not your turn!!

Aragorn: Heh. Listen to Sam! That´s a good one!

Elrond: *snicker* I agree! Good suggestion!

Frodo: That´s not FAIR, you guys!

Gimli: You heard `em, Gollum. You have to make out with Frodo.

Gollum: Pucker up, Master! Here we come!

Frodo: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I DON`T OWN AYTHING! Not even the plot. I found a series of movie pictures on and decided to put it in words. I think it´s fun though! XD

**Story .3 Eomer´s freak out. **

Eomer: FEAR ME!

Legolas: I`M SCARED!

Aragorn: I`M SCARED TOO!

Sam: AAAAAAGH!

Frodo: You´re all pansies!

Faramir: Eomer! Stop tormenting the Fellowship.

Eomer: I´m sorry! So sorry!

**Story .4 Happy travels with the Fellowship**

Frodo: Are we there yet?

Aragorn: No!

_Later_

Pippin: Strider, Merry´s poking me!

Aragorn: Merry, stop poking Pippin!

Merry: He started it!

Pippin: I did Not!

Merry: Yes, you did!

_Later_

Frodo: are we there yet?

Aragorn: No!

Frodo: Can I at least have some snack mix?

_Later_

Pippin: I have to go to the bathroom!

Aragorn: Pippin! We just passed the last rest station for thirty miles! I asked if anyone had to go, and you all said NO!

….

Frodo: How about now. Are we there yet?

Sam: Oh, shut up Frodo.

Frodo: I was just asking!

**Story.5 Legolas feelings**

Legolas: Ask me how I feel!

Aragorn: Erm …How do you feel?

Legolas: I feel crrrrazy! CRAZY!

Aragorn: …

Legolas: Crazy as a coconut!

Aragorn: …


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I DON`T OWN AYTHING! Not even the plot. I found a series of movie pictures on the internet and decided to put it in words. I think it´s funny though! XD

**Story 6. Catapult**

_Rivendell_

Boromir: What about a catapult?

Gandalf: A Catapult?

Elrond: …

Boromir: Why nor hurl the Ring to Mordor. _Over_ Sauron´s defenses.

Elrond: …

Aragorn: That's retarded.

Boromir: Well I don´t see you coming up with anything.

Aragorn: Calm down, Boromir.

Boromir: No! I don´t need you or this stupid fellowship.

Gandalf: Boromir! Shut up!

Boromir: Fine! I still think it´s a good idea!

**Story 7. Catapult 2**

_Gondor, Minas Tirith_

Aragorn: I can´t believe we´re doing this.

Boromir: Quiet, RANGER! Cough up the ring, short stuff.  
Right. Ready…and …FIRE!

Catapult: WOOMCH!

Misty Mountains: *splud*

Gandalf: Nice shooting faggot. You fired it into the fucking mountains.

Boromir: Dang.  
Frodo´s going to have to get it back.

Aragorn: YOU fired it, wonderboy. YOU go get it!

Boromir: Gaylord.

Boromir in the Misty Mountains: Stupid *nngh* ring…  
Fellowship my ass… Ahh, there it is.  
Something that small is really hard to trajectorize.  
It really needs some sort of guidance system…

Frodo: Please… you can´t do this!

Denethor: I´m the steward of Gondor you uptight little bastards, I can do anything I damn well please! Now get on the fucking catapult!

Frodo: I´m really not sure about this…

Ganalf: Ready…

*LAUNCH!*

Frodo: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!

Catapult: WOOMCH!

Frodo: aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!

Pippin: Try to aim for the lava, Frodo!

Sauron: Doo dee doo. Hey, what IS that… It´s moving awfully f…  
AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH. AAAAAAHHHH!  
FATOOOOMCH!  
Aaagh my eye!  
Oh jesus I´m fucking blind!  
Aiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeee!

*silence*

Boromir: OWNED! FUCKING OWNED! DID YOU SEE THAT? DID YOU SEE IT?  
ONE SHOT TWO KILLS MOTHERFUCKER! WHEEEEEHAAAA!  
"STUPID IDEA, BOROMIR! THAT`S FUCKING RETARDED, BOROMIR!"  
Stick THAT up your hairless, flaccid assholes  
and tell em BOROMIR SENT YA!

*silence*

Aragorn: I still say it´s fucking retarded…


End file.
